I walked as a mystic or as a prophet of old with a staff and a mantel and a great story to tell. My days were strange, but with faith in my heart and the scepter in hand I marched forth upon the promise land. God's light was upon me for all to see. People would ask me from whence I came. I responded with the greater truth thinking beyond this life and simply said," The mountain! " People wanted answers to questions I did not process. This left me wanting, wondering and humble as I continued my quest. I had to admit that I didn't know all and was still seeking myself to know more. I felt much more, than I knew how to say. I knew the Lord was with me and leading me forward each day.
During February and March I spent much time in study, prayer and searching my own soul. I had lost my part-time job and decided not to continue in college until I resolved my problem with the draft. It wasn't that I was afraid to fight, but God had given me greater light that made me feel my mission was on a different battle field. So I wrote to all my government representatives explaining my moral dilemma. I told of my God and my desire for peace. I expressed my visions and what I thought they meant. I concluded with a request that they change my draft status to CO (conscientious objector) as I felt I had become a pacifist. I based my reasons on my constitutional rights which I believed guaranteed me this freedom. Then I warned them that the final judgment day was near at hand and we all would have to answer to Jesus Christ.
For one thing, I knew for sure after all my visions was that America was founded upon the true principles of freedom guaranteeing each individual the right to worship God according to the dictates of their own conscience. I sort to work within the system to win my God given right to follow him to where he wanted me to go. I felt a great love for our founding fathers and thanked the Lord for such knowledgeable souls. I honor them by purchasing a copy of the United States Constitution and I studied it along with my Bible. I had learned to love America with every fiber of my soul.
Between my studies and visiting the campuses to witness for Christ, I spent much time alone walking the beaches and farm roads of Rocky Point. There I sang, praised and prayed to my God like David of old. I felt the love and friendship of the Almighty as most of my other friends turned away. It is a lonely awesome thing to know the Living God. I recall walking along the sandy cliffs and finding a sickle looking stick. I took it up and threw it forth renewing my vow to God. I quoted Revelation 14:15 as I thrust my sickle forth. " Thrust in thy sickle, and reap: for the time has come for thee to reap; for the harvest of the earth is ripe." This had become my greatest desire ever since my rebirth at Woodstock, that is, to bring souls to Christ.
During this period of time, many people approached me with their answers to life in one form of organized religion or another. I was very leery of the established religions. I had felt in my heart that they might be the false prophets the Lord warned of. Many seemed to claim a corner on the truth as if they were the only true religion. This turned me off because in my vision I saw the hand of God working with all people in all the different religions in the world.
Yet, I kept an open mind and showed respect to anyone who approached me in the name of the Lord. I would accept their material and weigh it against the things God had revealed to me. It was in this spirit that I decided to visit my former Lutheran Church in Rocky Point and discuss my visions with the pastor. I hoped he might be able to shed some light on what God would have me do. However, after a few visits I realized by the Spirit of God in me that this pastor thought me sincere, but mad. I try to counter his thinking by reminding him that " God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform." He smiled to that and politely acknowledged the saying was true, but he doubted my experiences were of God. I asked him a few questions about his concept of heaven and he lent me a book on the subject. We made plans to meet again but, it never happened. For a few weeks later one of my friends told me that his mother heard her Lutheran pastor preaching a sermon against me in a Stony Brook church. He said the devil was on the loose and had taken possession of me so I could lead others astray.
Again, I felt betrayed and hurt that no one could see or understand what God truly had done for me. I truly had been to the Mountain of God and yet it seemed only Robin believed. The pressure upon us became greater and greater as more people thought me insane. It mattered not, for God was my friend and I began to realized how many of the prophets of old must of felt. It seemed that all generations honor the dead prophets, but reject the living ones. As I read the Bible, Matt. 13:57 rang true to my heart, " A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house."
I clung to my faith in Jesus Christ and continued my journey seeking greater light. I went to the library to read books on the Dead Sea Scrolls in hopes of understanding the mysteries of old. I got a copy of the Catholic Catechism to study as well. Then a friend suggested I read the Koran, the Arabic Bible. I began to read and study them all hoping to find the link which would unite them together under Christ the Lord. I knew in my heart that God loves us all, but the doctrines of men seem to divide us apart. The search for this answer wearied my heart. Ecclesiastes 12:12 states it best, " And further, by these, my son be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. "
I prayed again to God in prayer asking his guidance that I might understand. The wisdom and honors of men clouded my visions time and again. They challenged the integrity of my very soul and left me feeling very lonely and old. Two things came to mind as I prayed with my might. Read the book of Isaiah and write of your life. Isaiah I read time and again trying to figure out what it really said. It is only now some twenty five years later that I've picked up the pen and begun to write. Now the truth of all these things becomes clear as I write to you of my life.
Back in those days, the winter was ending and I felt a need to get my life moving. If God had a mission for me to do, then I wanted to get on with it. As I shared this belief with my neighbors, relatives and friends, I usually heard the same response over and over again. " God helps those who help themselves ! " At first it angered me to hear this, but then I realized it must be a sign and a message from God. I decided I had prayed and studied enough and it was time to take some action. I concluded I must go out and get a job and earn some money to pay my own way. My parents were supporting me while I attended college, but now that I wasn't going to school they demand I begin paying my way.
I walked as a mystic or as a prophet of old with a staff and a mantel and a great story to tell. My days were strange, but with faith in my heart and the scepter in hand I marched forth upon the promise land. God's light was upon me for all to see. People would ask me from whence I came. I responded with the greater truth thinking beyond this life and simply said," The mountain! " People wanted answers to questions I did not process. This left me wanting, wondering and humble as I continued my quest. I had to admit that I didn't know all and was still seeking myself to know more. I felt much more, than I knew how to say. I knew the Lord was with me and leading me forward each day.